At 5:36 a.m. California time, the first plane made impact. I turned the news on shortly thereafter, as I always did when I was getting ready for work. They said it was a small aircraft that hit the North Tower…that it had probably lost instrument control…that it was a terrible mistake.
At 6:03 a.m. California time I watched the second plane hit the South Tower and it was clear this was no accident. The newscasters were stunned to near silence, and I stared in shock at what was happening for several minutes. And then I got in the car and headed to work.
At 6:37 a.m. California time, as I listened to the news on the radio, the third plane hit the Pentagon.
My boss was in his office when I walked in the building and had been there for quite some time. “Go to CNN,” I said as I approached his office. He hadn’t heard the news yet.
At 7:03 a.m. California time, shortly after I arrived at work, the final plane crashed in Pennsylvania.
People were quiet as they arrived over the next hour or so. Everyone put their computers on CNN, unable to focus on work but not sure what else to do. I remember the quiet.
I don’t remember what time it was when they sent us home, but I remember it was still morning. I remember not wanting to go because what was I supposed to do there? Only managers were allowed to stay and I wasn’t one at the time. So I left.
I’m not sure why but I went to the grocery store, one of my least favorite things to do, but I guess it felt like I should get supplies just in case. While in the store I talked to my parents and assured them I was fine, just in shock. I’m sure we talked more than once that day but I don’t remember. Even the grocery store, despite being filled with people, was quiet. I remember catching the eyes of strangers and sharing a nod or a sigh. No one knew what to think or do.
I watched hours upon hours of news once I was back home, unable to tear myself away. There was speculation about other targets, such as a the Transamerica Building in San Francisco, just an hour north of me. There was talk of stadiums and other famous places. There was even some talk of universities being targets. It was scary. I remember crying a lot.
We were allowed to return to work the next day but it was far from normal. And it was still so quiet.
Later that week there was a national moment of silence and they held an event downtown. A lot of people from campus walked over together, not saying much as we joined those already gathered. They handed us American flags and it felt like the entire country was whole at that moment. We were truly the United States of America. It felt like that for quite some time.
We learned in the days that followed that the pilot of United 93 was a San José State alumnus and likely saved countless lives by crashing his plane instead of letting the terrorists take it. I learned that one of the passengers on that flight worked at a Chili’s not far from where I lived. We learned a lot but also had more and more questions.
Nearly 3,000 people lost their lives that day. Many of the 25,000 who were injured have since passed. And many of our first responders who ran into danger have succumbed to the aftereffects of the smoke and chemicals that filled the air or to injuries they sustained during rescue efforts. Those who survived will never be the same.
One of SJSU’s police captains was there. He recounted how the day unfolded in a recent interview.
“I remember that 9/11 started out as a beautiful day that became a nightmare. I will never forget the uncommon valor of the police officers and firefighters who ran into those towers to save others. Many never returned to their families. They sacrificed their lives to save others, complete strangers. Police officers and firefighters ran towards the danger while thousands fled in panic and fear. “
I still find it hard to believe that this horrifying act of terror happened on American soil. There are times when it seems like it just happened and others when it seems like another lifetime. I honestly can’t believe it’s been 20 years.
I’ll never forget how it felt to walk into the San Jose airport a few days after the airspace reopened. I had a work meeting in Long Beach and am still shocked that it wasn’t cancelled. The terminal was empty, and everything about security had changed. And again, it was so quiet.
The Southwest crew thanked everyone for flying and handed out stickers saying the same. I have mine in a box somewhere.
There weren’t many of us on the plane that day, and even though it’s a short flight from San Jose to Los Angeles, I fell sound asleep. When I woke up shortly before landing I was overcome with emotion thinking about those people on the planes who might have been awoken when their aircraft took a sharp turn, or maybe when they heard somebody scream. I have never been so happy to see LAX in my life and I cried until we stopped at the gate.
In the weeks and months that followed there were musical tributes and fundraisers, there were memorial services and funerals, and there was so much chaos. America was not prepared for what happened. And I don’t think we’re prepared now if, heaven forbid, something like this were to happen again. But this post isn’t about that.
One of the most interesting things that happened that day didn’t happen in the United States. It happened in Gander, Newfoundland Canada where 38 commercial and 4 military flights were diverted that day. Nearly 7,000 people descended on this small town and, in true Canadian fashion, were welcomed with open arms. If you don’t know the story I encourage you to watch the documentary You Are Here: A Come From Away Story. And if you’re so inclined, go see the Come From Away musical - you can watch it right now on AppleTV+. It’s real, it’s heartwarming, it’s funny, and it’s emotional.
But before you do all of that, and maybe before you eat your Saturday breakfast, take a moment to think about those who lost their lives, to think about and honor those who sacrificed by running in. Think about the way we came together for a brief moment in time; pray that we get that unity back some day.
I will never forget.
Image by Cyril Attias
I’ve posted these Yellowcard lyrics before along with a video of them performing the song live, but they are always relevant.
Believe
Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Climbing higher, through the fire
Time was running out
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive
But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed
Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day
Never fearing, only hearing voices calling out
Let it all go, the life that you know
Just to bring them down alive
And you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed
Want to hold my wife when I get home
Want to tell my kids they'll never know
How much I love to see them smile
Want to make a change right here, right now
Want to live a life like you somehow
To make your sacrifice worth while
Everything is going to be alright
Be strong, believe
Definitely a difficult day then but our country was connected more then. Today we are as divided as I can remember. We have left "together" for "separation."