Song of the day:
I drafted this back in June but never found time to post it…still relevant…
Highlighting Pride Month (a few days late): Pronouns
Following up on last month’s posts, I want to highlight pronouns today, something that I know a lot of people struggle with or are confused by. This is a great resource if you’d like to dig in further, but I’ve summarized the basics below.
She/Her/Hers
He/Him/His
They/Them/Theirs
These are the pronouns you’ve probably heard/said the most. And they are very common. But did you know there are others?
Ze/Hir or Zir/Hirs or Zirs
Ey/Em/Eirs
Some individuals prefer not to use pronouns and ask that you simply call them by their name.
So why is it important to use a person’s correct pronouns or their name?
Using someone’s correct personal pronouns is a way to respect them and create an inclusive environment, just as using a person’s name can be a way to respect them. Just as it can be offensive or even harassing to make up a nickname for someone and call them that nickname against their will, it can be offensive or harassing to guess at someone’s pronouns and refer to them using those pronouns if that is not how that person wants to be known. Or, worse, actively choosing to ignore the pronouns someone has stated that they go by could imply the oppressive notion that intersex, transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people do not or should not exist. (Source: Pronouns.org)
Bottom line? Like most things it comes down to respect. And it’s truly not that hard. I’ve added my pronouns to all my social media accounts and to this blog. It’s also in my email signatures and on my zoom name. I’m making a conscious effort to be inclusive in my language…to say they when I don’t know someone’s pronouns, to gently ask for a person’s pronouns when I meet someone, to say my pronouns when I introduce myself. Using my pronouns first lets people know they’re in a safe space and can feel free to share their own pronouns if they choose to do so.
As people continue to learn how to use pronouns, how to share and how to ask, it’s important that we allow space for learning. However, that learning should never come at the expense of someone else. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make every effort to call someone by the pronouns they have chosen to use. And if we mess up, as we likely will at times, it’s okay to apologize and correct what you’ve said.
So, all that said…Hi, I’m Carrie. My pronouns are she/her/hers. How should I refer to you?
Video of the day: